I attended a workshop last night on Thought Leadership. It was AMAZING....and it really inspired me! One of the things that we were asked to do was to share a story of a critical moment in our lives and the lesson/lessons we learned from it. As these lessons almost always directly impact our leadership style. I was somewhat surprised at how easy that came for me. It was suggested to us that we write our stories down - if only for ourselves. I prefer to share. Here is one of my many critical moments.
I had my son Devan when i had just turned 19yrs old. He was born the Friday of the first week of classes of the spring semester of my sophomore year of college. I took off the next week and was back in class. Most people thought i was crazy. That thought did cross my mind a time or two as well - but i preferred to look at it as being determined. Determined not to become a statistic. I refused to be the teen mother who dropped out of school and remained on welfare her entire life. Devan had given me yet another reason to succeed.
About a year and a half after he was born, I found myself seriously struggling financially. I soon received a notice from the housing complex i lived in that unless i paid my rent which i had fallen behind on, i was going to be evicted from my apartment. Although i had family members that i could have asked for help, i was too proud and refused to ask them. This was MY problem and i had to deal with it as such.
One day as i was driving through town, i felt something take over and "guide" me. I ended up in a Catholic church parking lot. While i do believe in a higher power, growing up with an Irish Catholic mother and a Jewish father, i was not raised to subscribe to any particular religion. I was raised to embrace all religions and celebrate the differences. Yet there i was in the parking lot of a catholic church. I sat there for what seemed like a lifetime and simply cried. I couldn't understand how this could be happening to me or how i could have put my son in this situation. I was really trying to do everything "right". I was getting exceptional grades in my classes, taking care of my son the best way i knew how, yet still i found myself in a situation where i was failing. Failing not only myself, but more importantly my son.
As i was sitting there in an empty church parking lot crying, i found myself starting to pray. Asking my higher power for guidance to find my way out of the storm that was brewing over me. Again i felt "guided". This is when everything changed and a critical moment in my life occurred. Still not really sure why, I mustered up all the energy i had, got out of the car and walked into the church. Almost immediately a priest appeared in front of me. I stopped and looked at him as he greeted me and said "hello, can i help you with something". I looked at him and then i lost it. The tears began to stream down my face. I know he could see the pain i was experiencing. He asked me if i would like to go into his office to talk. As my emotions took over all i could do was shake my head yes.
A few moments later we were in his office. I continued to try to get my emotions under control as he patiently waited for me to get myself together. Once i had finally calmed down, he said to me "tell me whats going on". I proceeded to tell him my story. How i was a single mother trying to do the right thing. Trying to raise my son right, trying to excel in my studies so that i could give my son a better life. I couldn't understand what i was doing wrong and why i was struggling so much. The tears continued to flow and I then told him about my eviction notice. I went on to tell him how i felt "lost" and somewhat "hopeless". Once I got it all out I remember feeling like a million pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders. I actually remember taking a deep breath and feeling relieved that I had gotten it all out, the tears included. What I honestly didn't expect is what happened next.
The priest looked at me with warm concerned eyes and went on to say the following;
"Courtney, i appreciate that you have shared your story with me. It sounds to me like you are really trying to do the best you can for you and your son. I need you to understand what I'm about to do is a one time deal. On behalf of the church, I'm going to write a check to your landlord to cover the rent that you are behind. I want you to know that you are always welcome here, but i don't ever expect to see you back here for THIS reason".
I was astonished to say the least. Never did i once think i was going to be "bailed out" by a catholic church that i wasn't even a member of. It wasn't really even the reason that i ended up there to begin with. I honestly think i just needed someone to listen to me. I needed to vent. I needed to get it all out in order for me to process it. Never did i expect to receive the gift that i received that day.
So now the lessons i learned. While I'm not sure I understood the true impact of these lessons immediately, I am certainly confident I see it clearly now.
Lesson 1 - Give assistance to those you don't know... just because. You cant possible truly know what is actually going on in someones life unless they decide to share it with you. More often than not they will choose not to share out of fear of judgement or sheer humiliation.
Lesson 2 - Be kind to others. A simple smile or a kind word can change someones life more than you realize.
Lesson 3 - Always have faith that things will work themselves out. Life has a way of twisting and turning but there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel.
Lesson 4 - Learn from your downfalls. This defining moment in my life taught me more lessons than i can even put into words.
And so begins my journey of discovering my leadership values.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sunday, June 20, 2010
So its Fathers day...and i miss my dad!
Having lost my father very unexpected and tragically in 2003 ( i honestly cant believe its been over 7 years now), you can only imagine how difficult Fathers day is for me. This particular day brings up a range of emotions for me that can only be described as extremely overwhelming.
I feel sadness: Sadness that i do not get to spend this day with my dad. That we do not get to reminisce about times when i was little and he was a new dad, and times when i was a teenager and giving him a hard time.
I feel anger: I am angry that my father was taken from me. That he never got to meet my husband and did not get to walk me down the aisle. Don't get me wrong, i know he was there that day in spirit - but its not the same. I'm angry (and sad) that he isn't around to see the brilliant young man his grandson Devan has turned into, or to even meet his new grandson Ryan.
I feel cheated: Cheated out of being a daughter to my father. Cheated out of my role of being a Daddy's girl. Cheated that my son doesn't have a grandfather in his life to guide him and make "grandfather" memories with him.
I feel blessed: Blessed that i had him in my life for the time that i did. Blessed for the lessons that he taught me. Blessed for the morals and beliefs that he instilled in me. Blessed to be the woman that i am today.
Only a few days after my father passed away the Luther Vandross song Dance with my Father came out. Talk about timing. I was actually speaking with a friend the other day and was told that every time they hear that song, they think of me, they remembered when that song came out too.
My heart aches on this fathers day as i remember my father. I miss him dearly. I miss his presence. I miss the smell of his cigarettes. I miss his laugh. I miss his smile. I miss the way he called my name. Most of all i miss having someone i called "dad".
So on this fathers day i pay tribute to my dad and all the other men out there that carry that title. To those of you who still have your fathers in your life....Cherish the time you have with your dad - as i have learned all to well - he could be taken away at any moment!
I miss you daddy!
I feel sadness: Sadness that i do not get to spend this day with my dad. That we do not get to reminisce about times when i was little and he was a new dad, and times when i was a teenager and giving him a hard time.
I feel anger: I am angry that my father was taken from me. That he never got to meet my husband and did not get to walk me down the aisle. Don't get me wrong, i know he was there that day in spirit - but its not the same. I'm angry (and sad) that he isn't around to see the brilliant young man his grandson Devan has turned into, or to even meet his new grandson Ryan.
I feel cheated: Cheated out of being a daughter to my father. Cheated out of my role of being a Daddy's girl. Cheated that my son doesn't have a grandfather in his life to guide him and make "grandfather" memories with him.
I feel blessed: Blessed that i had him in my life for the time that i did. Blessed for the lessons that he taught me. Blessed for the morals and beliefs that he instilled in me. Blessed to be the woman that i am today.
Only a few days after my father passed away the Luther Vandross song Dance with my Father came out. Talk about timing. I was actually speaking with a friend the other day and was told that every time they hear that song, they think of me, they remembered when that song came out too.
My heart aches on this fathers day as i remember my father. I miss him dearly. I miss his presence. I miss the smell of his cigarettes. I miss his laugh. I miss his smile. I miss the way he called my name. Most of all i miss having someone i called "dad".
So on this fathers day i pay tribute to my dad and all the other men out there that carry that title. To those of you who still have your fathers in your life....Cherish the time you have with your dad - as i have learned all to well - he could be taken away at any moment!
I miss you daddy!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Mission statement
I attended a Women in Management event last night. The speaker was the director of psychosocial oncology at Rush University Medical Center. I had the pleasure of sitting at the head table with her and chatting before her "talk". After dinner she was introduced and went up to the podium to speak. Her lecture was going to be on the "roller coaster of change". I immediately thought "this should be interesting". She began by talking about how some people fear change while others embrace it as a challenge. Her talk went on and it was very interesting, and then she struck a cord. She talked about how her patients often have fear of the unknown. She went on to say that she often asks her patients "Whats the worst thing that could happen"? After they answer she asks them "and if that does happen, what will you do"? This was fascinating to me. It really got me thinking about my own decision making. I realized that often times i shy away from making a decision if im not sure how things will turn out. Then that got my wheels spinning. At some point in her speech she talked about Jim Collins book "Good to Great". She talked about getting people in the right seats on the bus. Having read the book i was very familiar with what she was talking about. That is when it hit me. Every Great company or organization has a mission statement. I know we have one where i work and it is ingrained in our heads. Every time a new idea comes up the question is posed - "Does it fit within the mission of the organization?" That is how decisions are made. If it fits within the mission its a go - if not the suggestion is scratched. So why is it that as children we are not taught to come up with a personal mission statement? If we all had a firm grip on what our core values are, on what we believe in, and what our personal mission is then every dilemma we faced could be challenged with, does it fit within my core values, what i believe and my mission. How much easier it would be to make decisions with that background to lean on. So i pose the question to you. What are your core values? Have you developed an individual mission statement? What is it? This is not something that can happen with the snap of a finger. Companies spend weeks, sometimes years contemplating the wording of their mission statement. This is something that will take dedication and time. It is though invaluable once you have it. All situations can be evaluated on the basis of do they fit within my mission. It would be so much easier to make decisions if i knew what my own personal mission statement was.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The journey continues.....
Brandon and i attended a wine tasting event with one of my co workers and some of our students. It was a great event and we all enjoyed it. Not only the wine and the food, but also each others company. After the wine tasting was over a few of us decided to go for a drink at a local bar. The conversation soon turned to the class the students were taking and what they were learning about. One of the people in our group works for me - but he is also taking classes. They started talking about leadership and the student next to me leaned over to tell me that Carlos, who works for ,talks a lot about me in class. "All good things" he immediately said. Carlos went on to talk about my leadership style and give examples. It was a little uneasy for me to sit there and listen to someone else sing my praises. Don't get me wrong, it felt good - its just not everyday that you hear someone speak so highly of you to other people and be genuine about it so i guess i was caught just a little off guard. But isn't that what we work so hard for and what we want? For people to appreciate and "like" us? If that is what we want and crave as humans then why is it so uncomfortable for us to hear it? Why is it our first instinct to try to figure out what ulterior motive the person complementing us has? Why cant we just accept that maybe just maybe what they are saying is genuine and they are giving us a complement simply because it is really how they feel and they actually expect nothing in return. It ended up being a great night with great people and great conversation. The journey continues.
I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. Got my morning kiss from Brandon and went about my business. I decided to work for a few hours from home to try and catch up on emails before i went into the office. I knew if i went in right away chances are i wouldn't get through my emails with all the disruptions i have at work. I noticed i had a missed call from a friend and that he had left a message. I let my mind wander on to the list of things i had to do today and didn't listen to the message right away. One of the things i had to do was to get a hold of two of my students to congratulate them and let them know that they were both going to be awarded a proclamation by the board of trustees of the University i work for. I had recommended both of them for the proclamation after they were the first ever RMU student recipients of a particular scholarship and the university agreed they should be recognized for that. What a joy it was to hear their excitement when i told them both the news. They were both so humble and honored and expressed their gratitude for my nomination on their behalf. The thank you's were almost a little overwhelming for me as i could hear the emotion in the students voices. But that was only the beginning. The journey continued.
I completed going through the ridiculous amount of emails i had in my inbox, i got dressed and got ready for work. Just before leaving my house I decided to check my messages on my cell phone. The message i got was a bit surprising. It was from an old friend who basically said that he was just calling to let me know he was thinking of me. He woke up thinking of me and wanted to let me know how he cherishes our friendship. WOW! That was powerful. I felt so many emotions after hearing that message. Gratitude for him leaving it. Joy for knowing that i have friends like that. I was elated that i had made an impact on someone;s life...to that extent. Don't get me wrong. I work with people daily and i know i make an impact on many students, but what I'm coming to realize is that we as a people don't take the time out to let other people know how much we appreciate the impact that they have made on us - whatever it may be - especially when its a positive one. My journey continued.
On my way to work my phone rang. It was another very dear friend of mine. Her first words to me were "Your going to think this is a really weird phone call". I wasn't really sure where the conversation was going to go from there, but i soon found out. She proceeded to tell me that she to woke up this morning thinking about me and then it dawned on her that she hadn't told me recently how much she valued my friendship, she said she wanted me to know what an exceptional person she thinks i am and that she loved me. WOW! That was powerful! She literally brought me to tears as she expressed her feelings for me as a person and our friendship. It wasn't that i didn't know this. I know we have a great friendship and i know we value each other and the experiences that we have had together, but to hear her say the words "I think you are an exceptional person, I value our friendship, I love you" It was truly overwhelming as this wave of emotion came over me. The conversation went on and we started discussing how each of our lives had changed and how we have both allowed ourselves to let our "busy schedules" get the best of us. When it came down to it we decided we needed to figure out how to take the time for one another. The friendship we have is too valuable to let it go "untouched" for so long. The entire morning was amazing. In a way all of the events of the day validated who i want to be as a person. A great wife, a loving mother, a caring friend, a mentor for my students and my staff, an overall good human being. The journey continues.
All of these events have been a process for me. These experiences are providing clarity. Clarity about who i am and how other people see me. It really got me thinking....Is how i view myself - how others also view me. What would people say at my funeral if i died today. Is that morbid? To me it is all a point of clarity. It would tell me if I'm on the right path. It would tell me if the legacy that i am creating is viewed in the light that i want it to be. So i want to continue this journey and ask you...the people who know me best...what would you say at my funeral if i were to die today?
I woke up this morning in a pretty good mood. Got my morning kiss from Brandon and went about my business. I decided to work for a few hours from home to try and catch up on emails before i went into the office. I knew if i went in right away chances are i wouldn't get through my emails with all the disruptions i have at work. I noticed i had a missed call from a friend and that he had left a message. I let my mind wander on to the list of things i had to do today and didn't listen to the message right away. One of the things i had to do was to get a hold of two of my students to congratulate them and let them know that they were both going to be awarded a proclamation by the board of trustees of the University i work for. I had recommended both of them for the proclamation after they were the first ever RMU student recipients of a particular scholarship and the university agreed they should be recognized for that. What a joy it was to hear their excitement when i told them both the news. They were both so humble and honored and expressed their gratitude for my nomination on their behalf. The thank you's were almost a little overwhelming for me as i could hear the emotion in the students voices. But that was only the beginning. The journey continued.
I completed going through the ridiculous amount of emails i had in my inbox, i got dressed and got ready for work. Just before leaving my house I decided to check my messages on my cell phone. The message i got was a bit surprising. It was from an old friend who basically said that he was just calling to let me know he was thinking of me. He woke up thinking of me and wanted to let me know how he cherishes our friendship. WOW! That was powerful. I felt so many emotions after hearing that message. Gratitude for him leaving it. Joy for knowing that i have friends like that. I was elated that i had made an impact on someone;s life...to that extent. Don't get me wrong. I work with people daily and i know i make an impact on many students, but what I'm coming to realize is that we as a people don't take the time out to let other people know how much we appreciate the impact that they have made on us - whatever it may be - especially when its a positive one. My journey continued.
On my way to work my phone rang. It was another very dear friend of mine. Her first words to me were "Your going to think this is a really weird phone call". I wasn't really sure where the conversation was going to go from there, but i soon found out. She proceeded to tell me that she to woke up this morning thinking about me and then it dawned on her that she hadn't told me recently how much she valued my friendship, she said she wanted me to know what an exceptional person she thinks i am and that she loved me. WOW! That was powerful! She literally brought me to tears as she expressed her feelings for me as a person and our friendship. It wasn't that i didn't know this. I know we have a great friendship and i know we value each other and the experiences that we have had together, but to hear her say the words "I think you are an exceptional person, I value our friendship, I love you" It was truly overwhelming as this wave of emotion came over me. The conversation went on and we started discussing how each of our lives had changed and how we have both allowed ourselves to let our "busy schedules" get the best of us. When it came down to it we decided we needed to figure out how to take the time for one another. The friendship we have is too valuable to let it go "untouched" for so long. The entire morning was amazing. In a way all of the events of the day validated who i want to be as a person. A great wife, a loving mother, a caring friend, a mentor for my students and my staff, an overall good human being. The journey continues.
All of these events have been a process for me. These experiences are providing clarity. Clarity about who i am and how other people see me. It really got me thinking....Is how i view myself - how others also view me. What would people say at my funeral if i died today. Is that morbid? To me it is all a point of clarity. It would tell me if I'm on the right path. It would tell me if the legacy that i am creating is viewed in the light that i want it to be. So i want to continue this journey and ask you...the people who know me best...what would you say at my funeral if i were to die today?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
My reflection of 2009
As 2009 comes to an end i cant help but think about all of the wonderful and crazy things that happened in 2009. The year started out with a bang when Brandon proposed to me down on one knee in front of most of my family at my aunt Cheryl's house. It was almost one year ago on January 1st, 2009. Its hard to believe less than a year later we were married! The following day was my 34th birthday and again Brandon surprised me. This time with a fabulous dinner at Wildfire.
In the middle of January Brandon and i went to Puerto Rico on vacation and we actually watched, while history was made, Obama's inauguration from a restaurant in Old San Juan. Our trip to Puerto Rico was amazing as we were able to experience El Yunque (the rain forest) and Flamenco Beach on the island of Culebra. I'm beginning to think we took our honeymoon before we got married since we have not been able to find the time to take one since we got married.
As the year progressed so many things came about. There were several wedding expos attended. The resigning of one of my staff members which led to the hiring of another, Carlos (a great choice by the way). My sister Katey found out that her and her husband are expecting their first child (a boy) this coming February.
Brandon and i attended an SIU reunion in the summer which reunited us with many friends we had not seen in years. I had 2 great bridal showers attended by family and friends and a fabulous Bachelorette party...which had to be the most non traditional bachelorette party ever..seeing as i invited all my male friends and my fiance as well!
All of that led up to our spectacular wedding day! I am the first one to admit that i hated the entire planning process, but there were some pretty wonderful things about it too! My dress was custom made by our friend Meekis and it was gorgeous! Brandon looked stunning in his custom made suit as well! When it was all said and done, i was married to my best friend and the man of my dreams...and it only took us 19 yrs to get there! It was a day that we were able to celebrate with our family and friends and that was what was most important to us.
We have great kids too! Devan is consistently getting all A's in school and is now driving on his driving permit. The girls are both doing well in school to!
Two weeks after the wedding i quit smoking and have now been smoke free for just under 4 months! Yeah for me! Shortly after that, my fantastic staff and i managed to exceed our insitutional goal by 8% for the fall start. This was the first time this had ever happened in the graduate school. I am so fortunate to have such exceptional people working for me. We are a great team and together accomplish the unthinkable!
This year was not all happy though, it brought 2 goodbye parties as well. Shortly after the fall start, we wished Libby well as she ventured into her new life in Puerto Rico. Only a few months later we found out that Marilu had been accepted to a PsyD program in California and will be leaving January 2nd! Our group of the Fab 5 (me, Jen, Libby, Claudia and Marilu) has now dwindled down to 3! Who would have ever thought i would be the first of the 5 of us to get married?!! Jen, Claudia and I will be the only ones left here in the windy city. I honestly really never expected at this point in my life to be saying "until we meet again" to so many dear friends, but this past year has shown me my expectations don't always turn into reality! We are happy for both of them and their new adventures, but they will be missed by those of us left here....but we will meet again!
In October i presented at the IACRAO conference and was elected as the President Elect for IACRAO. I will be in charge of planning next years conference...oh joy!
My mom had a milestone birthday in October also as she turned 60 yrs young. She remains such an inspiration to everyone she knows with her warm spirit and selfless ways! My mom and Devan are currently on a cruise in the Caribbean and then will be spending a week or so in Florida.
So as the year comes to a close so many things have changed. This year will end very different for me than past years. This will be the first Christmas that:
I will spend without Devan :(
I will spend as Brandon's wife :)
I will not be with kids all Christmas Day (the girls are spending Christmas eve with us then going to their moms Christmas morning) :I
My biggest lesson learned this year was stated earlier, i learned that my expectations don't always turn into reality. So as i reflect on the many lessons learned this year, the many blessings given this year, and the many adventures taken this year, i cant help but feel warm inside and anticipate what 2010 has in store for all of us! For those of you reading this blog, i wish you Happy Holidays for 2009! I hope the kindness you've give to others returns many times to you. May hope, love, peace, joy and warmth be in your heart's possessing and may the New Year
bring you and yours many blessings. Bring on 2010!
In the middle of January Brandon and i went to Puerto Rico on vacation and we actually watched, while history was made, Obama's inauguration from a restaurant in Old San Juan. Our trip to Puerto Rico was amazing as we were able to experience El Yunque (the rain forest) and Flamenco Beach on the island of Culebra. I'm beginning to think we took our honeymoon before we got married since we have not been able to find the time to take one since we got married.
As the year progressed so many things came about. There were several wedding expos attended. The resigning of one of my staff members which led to the hiring of another, Carlos (a great choice by the way). My sister Katey found out that her and her husband are expecting their first child (a boy) this coming February.
Brandon and i attended an SIU reunion in the summer which reunited us with many friends we had not seen in years. I had 2 great bridal showers attended by family and friends and a fabulous Bachelorette party...which had to be the most non traditional bachelorette party ever..seeing as i invited all my male friends and my fiance as well!
All of that led up to our spectacular wedding day! I am the first one to admit that i hated the entire planning process, but there were some pretty wonderful things about it too! My dress was custom made by our friend Meekis and it was gorgeous! Brandon looked stunning in his custom made suit as well! When it was all said and done, i was married to my best friend and the man of my dreams...and it only took us 19 yrs to get there! It was a day that we were able to celebrate with our family and friends and that was what was most important to us.
We have great kids too! Devan is consistently getting all A's in school and is now driving on his driving permit. The girls are both doing well in school to!
Two weeks after the wedding i quit smoking and have now been smoke free for just under 4 months! Yeah for me! Shortly after that, my fantastic staff and i managed to exceed our insitutional goal by 8% for the fall start. This was the first time this had ever happened in the graduate school. I am so fortunate to have such exceptional people working for me. We are a great team and together accomplish the unthinkable!
This year was not all happy though, it brought 2 goodbye parties as well. Shortly after the fall start, we wished Libby well as she ventured into her new life in Puerto Rico. Only a few months later we found out that Marilu had been accepted to a PsyD program in California and will be leaving January 2nd! Our group of the Fab 5 (me, Jen, Libby, Claudia and Marilu) has now dwindled down to 3! Who would have ever thought i would be the first of the 5 of us to get married?!! Jen, Claudia and I will be the only ones left here in the windy city. I honestly really never expected at this point in my life to be saying "until we meet again" to so many dear friends, but this past year has shown me my expectations don't always turn into reality! We are happy for both of them and their new adventures, but they will be missed by those of us left here....but we will meet again!
In October i presented at the IACRAO conference and was elected as the President Elect for IACRAO. I will be in charge of planning next years conference...oh joy!
My mom had a milestone birthday in October also as she turned 60 yrs young. She remains such an inspiration to everyone she knows with her warm spirit and selfless ways! My mom and Devan are currently on a cruise in the Caribbean and then will be spending a week or so in Florida.
So as the year comes to a close so many things have changed. This year will end very different for me than past years. This will be the first Christmas that:
I will spend without Devan :(
I will spend as Brandon's wife :)
I will not be with kids all Christmas Day (the girls are spending Christmas eve with us then going to their moms Christmas morning) :I
My biggest lesson learned this year was stated earlier, i learned that my expectations don't always turn into reality. So as i reflect on the many lessons learned this year, the many blessings given this year, and the many adventures taken this year, i cant help but feel warm inside and anticipate what 2010 has in store for all of us! For those of you reading this blog, i wish you Happy Holidays for 2009! I hope the kindness you've give to others returns many times to you. May hope, love, peace, joy and warmth be in your heart's possessing and may the New Year
bring you and yours many blessings. Bring on 2010!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
My Paradox of Tranquility
The title....where did it come from? Dictionary.com's definition of Paradox is: contradiction, puzzle, problem, illusion, misconception. Dictionary.com's definition of Tranquility is peace, quite, calmness, harmony. However opposite these two words are, they actually fit together for me to describe my thoughts and feelings. I am often experiencing some type of storm, but im always striving for calm. As crazy as it sounds, sometimes i think i need contradiction in order to experience harmony. I have blogged before on other sites, but never actually created a blog that people could follow. I love to write, but always seem to find excuses not to. So my New Years Resolution for 2010 will be to commit to writing more often. I have so many thoughts that come into my head that sometimes i cant even make sense of them. So I'm planning for this will be my whiteboard for an unsolvable math problem that i call LIFE. When i think about it, my life experiences are exactly like a difficult math problem...a puzzle.....a paradox. The problem comes up and i try over and over again to solve it. Writing it out and working through it...only to find that i got to the wrong place or ended up going no where and now have to erase what i had done and start over. Failing repeatedly and beginning again....until by chance it gets figured out. Then for the moment i am at peace....feeling tranquil. I hope that you will join me in the journey....read my blogs and comment as you see fit. Cardinal Newman once said "Growth is the only evidence of life". I certainly expect to grow through this process. Another favorite quote of mine by someone anonymous is "Life is a handful of short stories, pretending to be a novel". Bring it on 2010. And so begins my novel.
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